Happiness...

Well I haven't posted a new blog entry in a while so Today I figured I'll just post what I'm currently feeling... I look around me and see everyone happy... I fake a smile and cover up how i truly feel... I envy those who are happy... or that "Seem" to be happy... I cant count the number of times I lay awake at night crying myself to sleep... It comes in waves... some nights I'm happy... others I couldn't be more alone... This Blog is to show you what's really going on inside my head... and this is it... I'm a lonely fool... And That was one reason I got into magic in the first place. Being lonely... With My magic I was able to be noticed... to have attention... But now... it just doesn't help anymore... I love the art... I just need more... When is it going to be my time? When can I take off this mask that I am wearing and let someone see the real me? I am about to be 19 years old... I have no job, no girlfriend, and still live at home with my parents... I try to stay busy so that I won't think about these things... but they always creep in, in the evenings... I promised myself that I would be brutally honest on this Blog, and thats what I'm doing. I am not happy... You may look at me and think that I have everything together... but I'm just as broken as the next guy... Well I think that's as far as your going to get inside my mind this time... Until we meet again...

I am Malachi, See you on the other side????